Sunday, February 28, 2016

Back and Worse Than Ever


I've been meaning to write a blog post for the last week and haven't gotten around to doing so. Mainly because I wasn't sure how to address what I've been wanting to talk about. Honestly, I'm still not sure but I think it's time. I've decided it's time because I'm sitting here at 1:04pm and I've just woken up. I couldn't fall asleep until around 5am because of the pain. 


I guess because I'm not sure how to introduce this topic, I'll just jump right into it without sugar-coating anything. Because really, life doesn't sugar coat things. About three weeks ago I began getting some oh so familiar pains in my lower abdomen and pelvic region. It started with some twinges here and there and excalated into tugging and pulling sensations that would double me over suddenly. Then after a couple weeks of that, hip pains, leg pains, etc. It's back. The only thing I could think is "How come when I finally figure out one thing, it comes back to haunt me again?".


Endosalpingiosis.


Last April I underwent a surgery to remove what we thought was something called Endometriosis from my uterus, bladder and surrounding tissue. Turns out that after the biopsy results came back the tissues removed (in the form of cysts and small bleeding tumors) were actually something called Endosalpingiosis. Which is basically cyst-like tumors made up of Fallopian tube tissue. Quite random. And quite painful if you ask me. Because of this, my specialist wasn't sure how to proceed. He told me that he had never seen this before in any of his patients and that it was something he had heard of in medical school but was specifically told that he would very likely never see it. And I had it. Have it.



After this surgery there were ups and downs and complications. Post-op infections, bladder and kidney infections, pain, etc. Eventually after a few, long months we got it under control. I began a stronger dose of birth control to regulate periods (which are really brutal when you have a gynecological disease like this one), balance hormones and to altogether keep me from menstruating. Sounds great right? The problem is, with a body like mine, not menstruating only works for so long. So I've ended up in pain. I have cysts forming that I can literally feel putting pressure on my left ovary and bladder. And the pain began to be a constant bother again. Last time this happened, we had to stop my birth control in order to let my body regulate again and basically 'get this nonsense out of it's system" which is a lengthy and very painful process. So, that's what I've had to do again.


Let me just say this... It's insane how quickly my body is ready to jump back into attacking me. Not even twelve full hours after missing my dose of birth control, I woke up in agony with cramps radiating from the bottom of my ribs all the way to my hips. Including my abdomen, lower back, bum, thighs, everywhere. This was yesterday morning. Since then, I've been either bed or couch-ridden, permantely attched to a heating pad on HIGH and popping pain killers like candy. Because this is how we get through. If you've ever had menstrual cramps, you know the pain. But imagine that pain multiplied by about 15. My mother had the same types of pains when she was younger (before she had a hysterectomy to rid herself of it finally). My mother has said to me on multiple occasions that the pain she felt every month was exactly equivalent to the pain she felt during labour. Literally child birth pains, every damn month. So, that's pretty much what I'm experiencing right now except for this is just the beginning. Because, lucky me, I get a menstrual cycle that lasts for about 7+ days.


You see now why I've had a slightly difficult time approaching this topic? Ha. So, long story short -- if any of you need me, want to catch up, whatever.. I'll be spending the next week on the couch with my heating pad and ready for some entertainment.



** Sidenote: About three hours after writing this, I had another thought. It's horrible and terrifying that so many woman have to suffer with conditions like mine. Endometriosis, PCOS and endosalpingiosis are nothing to mess with. They ravage our bodies with pain, cysts, tumors, fibroids. It's awful. And there is no cure. It's so awful that all day today I've been wishing to have a hysterectomy and that's saying a lot coming from someone who knows she wants to have kids someday. When I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I realized that my entire stomach is literally burnt. Patchy, red, and burnt from the amount of heat I've had to apply to dull the ache of the cramping and pain I'm feeling. It is NOT okay that so many women have to go through this and be subjected to this. It is so important that more awareness be raised and a cure be found. **

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