I've
been meaning to write a blog post for the last week and haven't
gotten around to doing so. Mainly because I wasn't sure how to
address what I've been wanting to talk about. Honestly, I'm still not
sure but I think it's time. I've decided it's time because I'm
sitting here at 1:04pm and I've just woken up. I couldn't fall asleep
until around 5am because of the pain.
I
guess because I'm not sure how to introduce this topic, I'll just
jump right into it without sugar-coating anything. Because really,
life doesn't sugar coat things. About three weeks ago I began getting
some oh so familiar pains in my lower abdomen and pelvic region. It
started with some twinges here and there and excalated into tugging
and pulling sensations that would double me over suddenly. Then after
a couple weeks of that, hip pains, leg pains, etc. It's back. The
only thing I could think is "How come when I finally figure out
one thing, it comes back to haunt me again?".
Endosalpingiosis.
Last
April I underwent a surgery to remove what we thought was something
called Endometriosis from my uterus, bladder and surrounding tissue.
Turns out that after the biopsy results came back the tissues removed
(in the form of cysts and small bleeding tumors) were actually
something called Endosalpingiosis. Which is basically cyst-like
tumors made up of Fallopian tube tissue. Quite random. And quite
painful if you ask me. Because of this, my specialist wasn't sure how
to proceed. He told me that he had never seen this before in any of
his patients and that it was something he had heard of in medical
school but was specifically told that he would very likely never see
it. And I had it. Have it.
After
this surgery there were ups and downs and complications. Post-op
infections, bladder and kidney infections, pain, etc. Eventually
after a few, long months we got it under control. I began a stronger
dose of birth control to regulate periods (which are really brutal
when you have a gynecological disease like this one), balance
hormones and to altogether keep me from menstruating. Sounds great
right? The problem is, with a body like mine, not menstruating only
works for so long. So I've ended up in pain. I have cysts forming
that I can literally feel putting pressure on my left ovary and
bladder. And the pain began to be a constant bother again. Last time
this happened, we had to stop my birth control in order to let my
body regulate again and basically 'get this nonsense out of it's
system" which is a lengthy and very painful process. So, that's
what I've had to do again.
Let
me just say this... It's insane how quickly my body is ready to jump
back into attacking me. Not even twelve full hours after missing my
dose of birth control, I woke up in agony with cramps radiating from
the bottom of my ribs all the way to my hips. Including my abdomen,
lower back, bum, thighs, everywhere. This was yesterday morning.
Since then, I've been either bed or couch-ridden, permantely attched
to a heating pad on HIGH and popping pain killers like candy. Because
this is how we get through. If you've ever had menstrual cramps, you
know the pain. But imagine that pain multiplied by about 15. My
mother had the same types of pains when she was younger (before she
had a hysterectomy to rid herself of it finally). My mother has said
to me on multiple occasions that the pain she felt every month was
exactly equivalent to the pain she felt during labour. Literally
child birth pains, every damn month. So, that's pretty much what I'm
experiencing right now except for this is just the beginning.
Because, lucky me, I get a menstrual cycle that lasts for about 7+
days.
You
see now why I've had a slightly difficult time approaching this
topic? Ha. So, long story short -- if any of you need me, want to
catch up, whatever.. I'll be spending the next week on the couch with
my heating pad and ready for some entertainment.
** Sidenote: About three hours after writing this, I had another thought. It's horrible and terrifying that so many woman have to suffer with conditions like mine. Endometriosis, PCOS and endosalpingiosis are nothing to mess with. They ravage our bodies with pain, cysts, tumors, fibroids. It's awful. And there is no cure. It's so awful that all day today I've been wishing to have a hysterectomy and that's saying a lot coming from someone who knows she wants to have kids someday. When I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I realized that my entire stomach is literally burnt. Patchy, red, and burnt from the amount of heat I've had to apply to dull the ache of the cramping and pain I'm feeling. It is NOT okay that so many women have to go through this and be subjected to this. It is so important that more awareness be raised and a cure be found. **
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