Today I finally got in to see an Internal Medicine specialist. It's been a long-time coming. Waiting for a specialist sucks; mostly because you're in pain during the whole waiting process but you know that there is nothing that can really be done until you see the specialist and get their opinion. And even once you get their opinion, you have to book tests and surgeries and procedures that will cause you to wait even longer. But at the same time, you're so excited to finally be figuring out what the heck is going on inside your body.
It's been decided that I need more blood work (Really? Again? I've already had bloodwork done three times this month), an hs CRP test (a test for determining a person's risk level for CVD, heart attacks, and strokes), an ESR test (a test that is used to help detect inflammation associated with conditions such as infections, cancers, and autoimmune diseases), a colonoscopy (a test that allows your doctor to look at the inner lining of your large intestine), an endoscopy (procedure used to examine a person's digestive tract), and a laparoscopy (a surgery that uses a thin, lighted tube put through an incision in the belly to look at the abdominal organs or the female pelvic organs). Apparently I'm going to have a couple more months of hospitals, doctors appointments, tests, surgeries, procedures and rest.
When your body isn't functioning properly, it's hard to know how to deal. Eventually, you learn things that help and things that hinder but I can't say that I have ever fully learned how to deal with it. And by 'it', I mean ALL OF IT. The physical and emotional pain, the frustation, confusion and unknown causes. I still break down with frustration as to why my body does this and why this is the life I am stuck in.
To provide you with a small glimpse as to what it's like (some-what) to deal with frustration with your body could be as simple as saying, think about how you feel when you have the flu. Another one could be, if you have ever broken a bone, or injured a ligament or sprained something; think about all the things you could not do and how frustrated you were that your body physically could not meet your demands. It's like that -- but with your blood and your organs, and your brain and different parts of your body. And the worst part is, sometimes you don't even know WHAT is causing it, and even when you DO know what's causing it, you still may never find out WHY its happening.
Throughout the next few months, I'm sure I will face some hard times. I'm also sure that I will see the blessings in diguise throughout all of it too. I want to ask anyone who reads my blog, to please, have patience with me. And thank you, for listening to what I have to say. It means so much to me that people are supporting me and reading my blog. I am overjoyed with the response I have received so far. Update will continue and so will rants and vent-ing sessions!