Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Hospitals Suck

Late blog post!! Due to the fact that I am currently in a hospital bed and just had a large needle taken out of my arm-- this blog post is going to be a late one. I woke up thinking today was going to be a good day. The beginning was good. I went christmas shopping and got some new clothes to take on vacation. Once I got home I started to feel bad. Really fatigued like I had overdone it. Back story: I've been having unusual stomach pains for a couple weeks now and they had subsided, now they're back. These pains are getting more intense and inflamed. Normally I would wait it out and just go back to the doctor but this kind of pain is making me nervous. And one thing I've learned from being chronically ill is that it's best not to wait when your health lies in the balance. Also, I'm leaving the country next week and if I'm in agony while in Cuba -- I will be one unhappy lady. 

Anyway, I just had blood taken (a lot of it) which is kind of terrible for my Anemia (low iron) and makes me feel really lightheaded every time. My feet are frozen cause this hospital is so darn cold. My stomach is going nuts and feels like there's a tiny ball of fire with little legs running up and down and all around my abdomen. Sounds fun, doesn't it? ;) And to top it off, I get to be here all by my lonesome. 

Honestly, I don't know what the real purpose of this post is. I'm just sitting here, passing the time away by typing this out on my phone and hoping that the doctor will come in soon and figure out what the heck is going on inside of me. 

Being sick is annoying because it interrupts your life constantly. You'll make plans and have to cancel last minute because you're suddenly in pain. You'll be at work then out of nowhere you lose your focus and get a drilling migrane. You'll be at home enjoying a netflix marathon in your comfies when you get a pain that makes you literally fear for your life. Being sick is just as emotionally painful as it is physically. On the way to the hospital tonight, I cried. I don't cry a lot. I don't really even understand why. Yes, I'm in pain but I didn't feel like that was why I was crying. Maybe because I knew that soon I would be sitting in the hospital alone. Maybe because I knew I would have a giant needle shoved into my veins soon. Maybe it was because I don't understand why God chose this life for me. 

This life is the one I have been given and I am grateful for it. But I often wonder what purpose God has in me living this way. I hope it's so I can step out of my comfort zone and help others get the help and support that they need.

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